When I was 19 my dream was to be married by the time I was 22, kids by 25, job, house, car, fence and dog- that's it. What I have found is that my dream is really just a facade located somewhere outside of real life. I have found that I really have none of those things (except car...) and yet I'm okay with that. That said, there are things that I'm not really okay with.
I'm not okay with floating through my degree.
I'm not okay with pretending that I am awesome.
I'm not okay with current realities.
More than those things, I'm just not okay with whatever it is that God wants with me- incidentally I have no idea what that is. I think I need to figure that out.
On the particularly long drive back to Philadelphia I thought that I would shut down this blog for a while, perhaps until the end of August. I think I need to spend less time worrying about what people think of me, of what I write, and who they perceive me to be and more time figuring life out, what I want, what God wants and how to move towards that.
And so, that's what I'm going to do.
Two things I want to leave up here until then:
Henri Nouwen says this,
God is a God of the present and reveals to those who are willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take toward the future."
Bob Dylan says this,
I am hanging in the balance of a perfect, finished plan,
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand.
...living in the tension.
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6 comments:
*love*wins*
everything will be okay...
Lovely idea Chris,
Not sure when you'll get this, but honestly I love your idea because it's rooted in obeying what God is saying to you. It's funny but God actually asked me to do the opposite (not become self concieted) but to persue Him and write about it daily. I'm nearing the end of this modern day nazarite vow thing. I guess all I'm saying is, thanks for listening and actually obeying God. That's what I love about you. That's why God does and is going to keep using you.
Later,
In Christ
Greg
Hey Chris...
Sounds like it might be time for a little introspection...I'll miss the blog though...
JL
May you experience much peace and unexpected joy in this time.
You are on an exciting journey and we are so thankful that we can be a part of it along the way.
love,
Ian and Lauren
Hey Lew-Dog
I found a site you might be interested in:
Indieriver.net
-for Derek Webb concerts in FLAC format.
all the best.
Chris from 493.
Henri Nouwen is the man.
So are you Chris.
I'll see in the seminary and in class - between hectic sessions of typing papers.
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