why i hate my roommate

Today began at 4:55am. I haven't seen this hour in, well...I can't even remember. However today was special because my roommate (who I will now call 'the roommate') needed a ride to the airport so he can visit a girl in Florida. Boys.. er..men- do the craziest things for girls.

The way there was pretty good- hardly any traffic and fairly straightforward. It took about 20 minutes.

At 5:30am I waved goodbye to the roommate and hopped back on the highway, moving closer to my bed with every passing moment.

Until...

(at this point in the story I must preface it with what I like to refer to as 'the man sense of direction'. I didn't exactly know how to get back but I trusted my God-given ability to navigate through forests, deserts and highways to reach my destination. Man sense of direction is also known as 'pride'. I've never actually tried to use this ability before 6am... I found out that it doesn't work too well early in the mornings).

ahem...

Until...

I found myself in New Jersey.

Oops!

So in my confusion I had taken a wrong turn and was halfway into Camden before I was able to find an off ramp and turn around. This proved to be a disaster. In the early morning darkness I pulled a u-turn back towards the highway- all clear.

After going about 50 feet down this road I saw a wave of traffic coming towards me (remember..it was early). As it turns out I had made a u turn onto a one way street, thus I was proceeding into oncoming traffic.

(cue my mother gasping)

So... I pulled over as far as I could and was relieved when only 3 cars honked (thanks folks...like I don't know I made a mistake).

So, I pulled another U-turn and was headed in the right direction- found the highway and went back to Pennsylvania and back to the toll highway. Apparently if you live in Pennsylvania you don't have to pay it but if you're coming from New Jersey you do.

Now, at this point it gets fuzzy because it was surreal.

I approach the tolls and realise that like a good student I don't have any cash... "debit" I think... "credit at least.."... "someone must be able to process this, it must happen all the time...plus it's only $3.00"

5:48am I approach the booth
5:49am Chris: "Hi there, I took the wrong exit and ended up in New Jersey and all I have is debit or credit"
Apathetic toll booth man: "you need cash"
Chris: "really, you can't take any cards...anywhere here?"
ATBM: "nope"

at this point he pulls out a pad of paper and walks behind my car to write down the license plate. "crap"...i thought.

ATBM: "where are you headed"
*a glimmer of hope*
Chris: "city line in wynnewood- do you know how to get there from here"
ATBM: "ya, but you can't go there"
Chris thinks in his mind 'is it closed? construction?... a parade???'
Chris says "really, why not?"
ATBM: "because you didn't pay the toll"
Chris laughs out loud.
Chris says "what?"
ATBM: "you need to pull over to the right side of the road and wait for the police"
Chris says "WHAT!...are you serious?"
ATBM: "yep, you need to pull over there and wait for them to show up"
Chris says "for three dollars?"
ATBM: "yep"

Chris thinks- 'now I won't get to go back to sleep...'

5:50am- I pull over to the right side of the road and wait for the police. I wonder what they are going to do? Empty my pockets? Fine me? Take me to jail?...

5:54am- I decide to find a way out of this thing.
5:55am- I found $1.35 USD in my car and $0.15 CDN or what I like to call $1.50 (hoping that ATBM wouldn't notice the currency problem).

5:57am- I walk up to the back of this ATBM's toll booth and knock.

He opens the door.

ATBM: "yes?"
Chris: "I found $1.50 in my car...does that help the situation"
ATBM: "nope, you need a $3.00"
Chris: "seriously, there must be something we can work out here..."
ATBM: "ya... you can find me $1.50 or else it'll come off my paycheque"

(I can not repeat the thoughts that were going through my head at this point)

Chris: "what are the police going to do?"
ATBM: "they are going to escort you back to New Jersey so you can find a bank"

Chris thinks *I'm starting to understanding why people think the United States is so screwed up???"
Chris: "escort me back to New Jersey over $1.50?"
ATBM: "yep..."
Chris: "can I sell you something for $1.50.. a cd... a pair of gloves??"
ATBM: "nope..."
Chris "but if I find $1.50 I can leave..right?"
ATBM: "yep"

I'd never panhandled until this morning.

I approached the first car I could and in a polite Canadian accent asked a lady driving a blue SUV if she could spare $1.50 for the alien in a strange land.

LDABSUV: "oh sure! We've all been there before"
Chris: "thank you so much"

I approach apathetic toll booth man and knock on his booth door...

ATBM: "you back again???"
As I hold out the extra money: "ya and here's your $3.00"
ATBM: "alright..."
Chris: "so I can leave now right?"
ATBM: "yep, you can go"
Chris: "and the police??? are they going to send me a ticket or something"
ATBM: "nope"


6:12am
depart the toll booths.
6:34am
arrive at the Seminary
6:49am
sleeping....

The moral of the story is that I hate my roommate.

the end.

ps- I don't really hate him but for a brief period I may have.

the videos

One of the biggest surprises we had for the conference were the following videos. I'm pretty sure I used the words, 'I have something to tell you about the conference but you can't tell anyone' about 10 times. I also remember freaking out at school when Nate sent me the raw footage of Rob Bell's video. Crazy.

evolving church wrap up...

The conference went better than any of us could have ever dreamed...

On February 17th we had exactly 56 registrations and we began to sweat a little...a pray a little more...

By 9am on the day of the conference we had registered 760+ people... we are overwhelmed by this.

I think there are a lot of reasons why justice is so huge right now. One reason is that we're seeing a generation of rich kids who grew up in the suburbs realise that there's more to life than the acquisition of stuff. The main reason is probably a shift that we're seeing in the church towards loving our neighbor (local and global) as much or more than we love ourselves, all the while wrestling with what are God's dreams for the world- things like fighting for the poor and oppressed are being found here. Its happening, and its awesome...

Lots to say but here are my highlights...

Steve, Nate and Darryl. I love them and can't imagine having anyone I love working with more.

Our volunteers- unbelievable examples and so helpful- they make the conference happen.

Jim Wallis telling me back stage that the reason he came is that Brian Mclaren asked him too! Thank you Brian!

The 60 year old Catholic couple who said to me "what is Epiphaneia and how can we get involved?"

Seeing so many friends there who are wrestling with the concept of the Church as they've known it but finding encouragement with the words of the speakers- its not hopeless!

The kind words from Jay Locke and George...

In Jim Wallis' Q & A he got "what do we do with people who are convinced that the world is just too bad and beyond repair and what's the point since Jesus is coming back soon anyway?" Jim Wallis "first, that's just bad eschatology"

I got a chance to first go into the main session at 9am and saw this huge room seemingly full- that was an overwhelming first impression.



The offers we got to be involved with other organizations... (don't worry, we're not selling out...)

Lots more but for now you can read about other peoples experiences here:

Darryl Dash
David Fitch
and of course...
Nathan Colquhoun

Until next year....

the hour

Two years ago I thought Tony Campolo was an icon of the old school, a spitter (when he talks) and oh so predictable. I suppose he's still fairly predictable with George Stroumboulopoulos on the Hour but its a solid interview...

Tony on The Hour

Favorite line:

"that's why they don't like Jesus- because he sounds like a hippie.."
- thank you George, you just made my day...

count down...

Nathan posted today what's happening with Epiphaneia.

It's going to be 72 hours of craziness- but we're in good shape. We figured out there are 37 things to do between now and Saturday morning-- a manageable number between four friends- however we've been talking about tithing and what the kingdom is... and that hasn't be conducive to getting work done.

Steve just said 'the Bible is God'....chew on that... he also found out that I just quoted him on my blog and said 'don't you misquote me on that', something about John 1

okay folks see you soon

This Saturday.

sunday night movies

Here is what I do on Sunday nights...
some of the footage is pretty dark...opps.

on the way to the store...

I found myself behind the car in the picture below today. By a sheer act of providence I happened to have my camera with me.

My initial assumption is that the owner of this vehicle may not be a republican...

ravines and basketball teams

There is a ravine with hiking paths and such only a five minute walk away from where I live. When you're in the middle of the ravine you can barely tell that you're in the city, which is nice sometimes. Yesterday I took a book down there, parked myself on a fallen tree beside a stream and spent an hour reading in 15 degree (Celcius) weather. It was fairly peaceful until a large "bark!...." (or 'woof'!...however you want to say it..) came from behind me. I took a look back and saw a little dog on the leash of what appeared to be a nice lady. We engaged in small talk... the conclusion of which occurred as she looked around and as she was obviously was enjoying the weather said, "too bad that all hell's going to break loose in 12 hours"...

I assumed she wasn't talking about the apocalypse... although her statement has been partly prophetic.

Today I was sent home from work because of freezing rain/ snow- which has continued all day and even as I type continues outside my window. At 5:30pm I was going to drive over to the grocery store and grab a large pizza that is on sale on weekends for fairly cheap. The grocery store is a 3-5 minute drive away- maybe less... As I was about to grab the keys for the car my roommate informs me that someone just came from that grocery store and it took them an hour to get back....an hour!

Needless to say I didn't get that pizza...instead I looked through the refrigerator and ended up having 2 pieces of chicken and a porkchop for dinner.... and a glass of water (with ice- cubes, not crushed).

In other news, Villanova lost in the opening round of NCAA tournament. I was really hoping they'd do well so that I could see what happens in university towns when their teams win during March Madness... well, maybe next year (wait, probably not...)

rockstars

Today I'm going to UPENN to see a rockstar.

Well, in the world of International Development- William Easterly is a rockstar.


I have to read his book The White Man's Burden for two weeks from now- so his talk will hopefully provide a foundation to that reading... and will probably also help me to better understand why foreign aid is more harmful than helpful. Plus, for one hour of my life I get to pretend that I go to an Ivy League school. I'd better bring my camera...wait, ivy league students wouldn't bring their cameras... I'll bring my pipe instead...

jerry and james...bad news fellas...

Here goes...

Jerry Falwell recently said that global warming is essentially an idea that the devil is using to keep Christians focused on other things besides the gay marriage debate, abortion...and it apparently keeps us from evangelising... (yikes!) James Dobson is also promoting the belief that global warming shouldn't be a political priority for Christians.

Yaaaaaa......... sorry fellas- you're off the mark on this one. For what its worth, I hereby declare that those two are no longer allowed to speak on behalf of me and the greater Christian community. In fact, I'd like to declare a moratorium on Focus on the Family and Moral Majority until we review their theology and/ or the amount of funding they stand to lose when more potential donors realise the environment is a worthy cause and that their organizations are evidently ill-equipped to speak on behalf of the environment.

Here is the thing fellas-- it's not global warming that I'm really concerned about. I mean, its not like I haven't seen the stats that tell me that the polar ice caps will melt ala Al Gore... and its not like I don't think that an increase in tropical storms and the shifting of ocean currents are a good thing- I don't. However, like I said- global warming isn't my concern- or rather it is, but by default.

The reason is this- environment care is a matter of Christian responsibility. In fact fellas, if we looked through some of that Book you have there we'd see that Land is an essential part of God's gift to his people... and stewardship of that land- well, it goes without saying. Now at this point I'm sure you (or some of your friends? where is Tim anyway?) might want to get into new covenant arguments, new Jerusalem sort of stuff and the infamous end times forecasts,-- instead lets just agree that land should be cared for, here and now.

That isn't to say that we should forget about morality and embrace the new Sodom and Gomorrah (why did that city get trashed again?...lets look that up...Ezekiel 16:49...which represents another problem of your misfocussed attention...) but we can't just sit back and drive our SUV's past those polluting factories who dump excess chemicals into your Colorado/Virginia rivers... or can we? Should we...is that what you're saying?! Do we really want entire lakes to disappear (thank you oil sands) and for the ecosystem to get all messed up and on top of that to see an increase in cancer rates all because 'the man' wants to make as much money as he can while he can?... you have got to be kidding me....

Stewardship is a moral issue.

why democracy is an illusion.

In some of my recent readings I've had this sneaking suspicion that the world is a whole lot more messed up than I might have given it credit for. I know that it's bad- but is it really that bad? Yes, the answer is yes...

As far as I can tell democracy is an illusion. I've really just been exposed to American politics in this respect so I'll be painting with quite a large brush.

Nonetheless, I think that contrary to popular belief, large corporations and not governments- run the world. I believe this based on three examples.

1. Omar Torrijos- a Panamanian leader who negotiated the successful re-acquisiton of the Panama Canal from the Americans under Jimmy Carter's presidency- this happened in 1977. Then, Reagan takes over the White House and tries to get the Canal back. Torrijos is not having this. When Torrijos starts to talk about developing and expanding this waterway with rumors of Korea getting many of the billion dollar contracts...(which would go to American MNCs under different circumstances) Torrijos is killed in a plane crash in 1981. that's odd...

2. Jaime Roldos- president of Ecuador, fought for the rights of his people and the expulsion of MNCs from his country unless they started to give Ecuador their dues. Some might have called him a socialist. I call him a hero. Roldos was killed in a plane crash in 1981. hmmm...what is going on here?

3. Halliburton, Bechtel, Lockheed Martin and Harken are examples of corporations where either Presidents or Vice-Presidents have played a significant role (board members, CEO etc). This isn't bad in itself until you consider that such companies have a lot at stake in say... oil rich nations (Halliburton, Harken) or stand to make a lot of money from producing weapons (Lockheed Martin)...for, like...a war... or getting the contracts for the rebuilding (Bechtel) of say...Iraq.

Okay okay...the conspiracy theory is just pouring out now.

Conclusion: The purpose of democracy is to give the appearance of power with the people. In reality, large corporations, simply because of their worth and ability to influence the economy are able to pressure the government into making decisions that will keep them (MNCs) rich -even if this means taking out a socialist here and there to do it...

The 21st century will be all about corporatocracy.

This is bad, bad, bad news for developing countries.

The oil talk has me wondering about Stephen Harper and the oil sands... do Canadians really know what is going on there...ahhhhh...this is another post.... Maybe if we decimate the oil sands there's a smaller chance that America will want to set up shop here anytime soon. Okay, enough conspiracy theory....

and spring break comes to an end....

It's Saturday night which means that spring break will be coming to an end very shortly. In honour of the last 9 days sans school work I have decided to compile a highlight list of sorts. In no particular order....

The movies I was able to watch, including: Flags of Our Fathers (meh), Babel (very good), 300 (good) and Jesus Camp (...number of times I cringed while groaning 'ooohhhhh' during this movie: 203)

The one book I read- Confessions of an Economic Hitman.

The Evolving Church: Restoring Justice things that were accomplished... we are miles ahead of last year in terms of organization.

Lunch with George.

Hangouts with the fellas from 493.

The Raptors game with JayLo.

Those two times I was able to hang out with Keith.

Being in Smithville

Coffee, lattes and Mexican food.

Okay, hitting the road soon- determined to finish 'The World is Flat' on audio cd during the trip down...

two introductions in one day.

Last Saturday I went out for lunch with Keith Brooks to a classy establishment on Yonge St. called Goldenstar(I'm not sure it's as classy as you might be imagining). As we walk in we both recall the last time either of us had been there- about four years ago with Kie. Anyway, it was a good time.

Now, this post really has nothing to do with that restaurant but is mostly about Keith. Keith is a former roommate, one who abandoned me in my time of need for cheap rent and the endless prospects of dance-dance revolution.

Keith has begun blogging (again) as he gently reminded me in an email I received just yesterday "Thanks for not linking to my blog on your site...prickface".

Thus is our relationship...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

You'll see his link to the right... If he maintains his blog he should be good for some solid reading material.

Aaron Espe

I don't know that I've ever used a post to straight up promote an artist. However I have to...I must share this music. I was first introduced to the music of singer/songwriter Aaron Espe about two months ago by my grad school roommate (who incidentally knows Aaron). He mentioned that this guy used to play with The Fray before they got big and due to various circumstances stopped playing with them. (I don't really know the story...it could just be a rumour). Anyway, I would say his debut release 'My Whole Life' might just be my favorite cd of the last three years... check out some of the songs here.

"Hearing his music is like the experience of not realizing how thirsty you are until you start drinking....There's no doubt that this is some of the most gorgeous male folk you'll hear." -- CD Baby, Largest Distributor for Independent Music

Now THAT is an endorsement.

Global Citizenship Conference

My friend Silas is running a conference with a team at Laurier University. Check out their website . Props to Nathan for the web design.

Keynote speakers include the one and only Stephen Lewis.

american friends...

Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks that Canada is a nice place to live. Sorry about the American ranking...it must be fixed!-- just like your elections....opps...did i say that!?

Democracy is an illusion- thats my new motto.

Seriously though, when are Jim and Pam going to hook up? I've seen some of the third season (although I did miss a few episodes...) so I'm pretty sure it hasn't happened yet...although I did give a standing ovation to the last episode of Season 2.

Back to the democracy thing...I've been doing some thinking and it might just be an illusion. I'm a skeptical person to begin with, so if you throw in some conspiracy theories, mixed with some facts-- suddenly I'm ready to grow a large beard, buy a motorcycle and visit the impoverished people of Latin America - like my good friend Che... (I say 'good friend' but we've never actually met...I believe he was executed some time before I was born...)

There might be more to come on this.

the past 24

I like Toronto.

I've been rocking the T-Dot for about 24 hours now and it feels good. I spent last night at the Raptors game with Jay (they lost in a lackluster effort) but it was good times nonetheless. I also made a decision on my favorite Raptor: Jorge Garbojosa.
Reasons I like him:
1) he has a beard.
2) he is from Spain.
3) he plays tough.
4) he has a beard.

Last night I also watched Jesus Camp- I think this is more of a conversation than a blog post right now. I think Jason might be writing something up as we speak about it...and I believe Nathan wrote about it a while ago. Weird.

I'm 100 pages into Confessions of an Economic Hitman- wow. wow. wow. Does this stuff really happen? It's a novel based on the authors life, so its going by fast but some of his allegations- if they are true are absolutely outrageous. Here's the premise...

"We (economic hitmen) are an elite group of men and women who utilize international financial organizations to foment conditions that make other nations subservient to the corporatocracy running our biggest corporations, our government, our banks...If an EHM is completely successful, the loans are so large that the debtor is forced to default on its payments after a few years. When this happens, then like the Mafia we demand our pound of flesh. This often includes one or more of the following: control over United Nations votes, the installation of military bases, or access to precious resources such as oil. Of course, the debtor still owes us the money- and another country is added to our global empire"

Currently we (the fellas) are half way through Flags of Our Fathers- I wanted to rent Letters from Iwo Jima but got the American side of the story since the movie of choice wasn't available. So far I've realised that the days of watching thousands of people being blown up and maimed are behind me, hence the blog posting in the middle of a movie.

arrived.

What the heck is going on in Southern Ontario...?

First gas is expensive (filled up in Buffalo) AND there's some kind of natural disaster happening...

Oh well, natural disasters can't stop me from 'making a margarita in my mouth..it's SPRING BREAK!"

(sorry to use the same joke in two straight posts... opps...)